The parable of the burrito

(please all note, this is written by Greg)

You all know the feeling you get when staring down the barrel of a loaded pork burrito from Cafe Rio (smothered, of course). It is a feeling that is difficult to describe, but one which is undeniable. I think the best way that I can describe the feeling is "the meaning of life." That's right - ". . . and men are, that they might have [smothered burritos]." Regardless of your current life circumstances or anxieties, they all seem petty in juxtaposition with the majesty of a smothered goddess. You cannot wait to meticulously make short work of her, but at the same time you are enraptured by the crescendo of anticipation between the end of the assembly line and your table.

And so the feast begins. Your buffet of pleasure provokes every sense in your body. Every bite is a new and magical adventure. You get the feeling that what you have before you is actually a portal to another, timeless, world. You don't want this to stop, ever. You are addicted, a useless junkie subject to the siren song coming from your plate. Alas, amidst these fragile emotions your corporeal existence refuses to be forgotten. You are getting full. Your body cannot take much more. Whilst your soul is just barely wetting its palate your inadequate stomach betrays you. In a classic scenario of Man vs. Self, a struggle ensues within. Do you selfishly continue, causing physical pain and risk disfiguring the masterpiece of other-worldly elation that you have had until now? Turning joy into ugliness in a physical ravishing that leaves no prisoners? Or do you relent, and take the higher road? Exhibiting the utmost self-mastery by sounding a retreat and stowing your smothered prize to the lonely refrigerator? Left-overs. You want to take so much, but have only so little to give.

So it is that you reluctantly stop and painfully turn your back on the precious. You are resolute in your decision and dig deep to find the strength necessary to do the right thing: just shut it down. You can do this, right? It will be better in the end. But these words of encouragement do not make your decision any easier. With what little force you can muster you execute your plan and open the refrigerator door. As your feeble grip on the shiny aluminum pan relaxes you sigh, deeply, and extinguish the last smoldering ember of desire that is urging you to take just ONE more bite.

With the short passage of time, your thoughts slide from in-the-moment to a wiser, global perspective. You begin to recognize, in this less carnal frame of mind, that what you did was, in fact, the right thing to do. Pride for your accomplishment now fills the empty space left by the intense craving that once furiously ravaged your whole body. Good work soldier. The memories of the duel serve as a reminder to you of just how strong you can be when faced with an insurmountable foe. The next time it might not be a smothered burrito, regardless, you are ready. You can take it on, whatever it is. And you WILL be better in the end.